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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?